Leap of Faith – Part III

Welcome to the third and final installment of my “Leap of Faith” series. This one is a bit difficult to write, because even though God once again demonstrated His faithfulness, it came at the beginning of what would be a difficult period in my life. More on that as we go along ...

As Part II ended, I was in North Carolina, working for Volvo Trucks after a job search that took more than one unexpected twist and turn. Volvo was an excellent company, however, as I approached the one-year mark, I became restless and started searching for something else. I soon found a new position at children’s publishing company, and for a while, I was content. Unfortunately, that contentment only lasted a year, and I once again found myself unemployed.

More than unemployed, however, I was also less than happy living in North Carolina, and after some discussions my wife and I packed up and headed back to Oklahoma City. With no job prospects and very little extra money, I was once again traveling on faith. I knew from my previous experiences, however, that God would take care of me.

Yes, this time was different. I was the author of my current circumstances. My own inability to remain content in the blessings He had provided is what had put me into my current precarious predicament.

“Lord, I don’t always make the right choices. In fact, I often make the wrong ones. Please don’t let my poor decisions hurt those who depend on me. I will gladly bear the burden of my choices, but please don’t let those who depend on me suffer because of my foolishness.”

And He didn’t.

And He hasn’t.

I know that even though I fail Him often, He will never fail me.

Shortly after returning to Oklahoma City, I began reaching out to some of the people I knew from before. One person, in particular, who had previously been my counterpart at a rival oil and gas company seemed eager to meet for lunch. As it turned out, the company she worked for was growing quite rapidly, and she was looking to add someone to her staff. It only took a few weeks before I began my new job on her team.

Once again, God provided.

Just over a year after I started, one of the founders of the company left to begin his own oil and gas business. A few months after that, an offer was extended for me to join his new operation. I accepted and ended up staying there for the next 11 years.

“Taste and see that the Lord is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him! Fear the Lord, you His saints; For to those who fear Him there is no lack of anything. The young lions do without and suffer hunger; But they who seek the Lord will not lack any good thing.” Psalm 34:8-10

God has been good to me throughout my career – always taking care of me and those He has entrusted to my care. I am forever grateful for His merciful kindness. But even more amazing to me is how He has watched over me and my life away from work.

While getting that first job after returning from North Carolina was an absolute blessing, it was also where I finally came face to face with some difficult truths. My “inability to remain content” was a symptom of some deeper issues – issues that needed to be dealt with or they would continue to plague me no matter my age, occupation or location. One issue I couldn’t shake, and that had deep and long-lasting effects was the fact that I was incredibly lonely. When I say lonely, I mean the kind of loneliness that seeps into every part of your being and affects how you view yourself and every facet of your life. The fact that I was married and had been for nearly 17 years only seemed to compound these issues.

Without going into further details, which I will save for another blog, I will simply say that it was during this time that my marriage came to an end. It was a dark time for a while. But it was also a time for me to dig deep into who I was as a person, what it was I seemed to be missing and what things I needed to change about myself in order to move forward. My prayers to God continued, similarly to those that took place during my job searches:

“God, I’ll continue to do the leg work, but please, Lord, guide my path and show me who you want me to be. Mold me into the person you want me to become.”

And He did. And more than that, He led me along a path I didn’t know existed, to a place I could never have found on my own. At the same time, God was also leading someone else along her own path, one that would eventually intersect with mine when the time was right for both of us. That too, is a story for another blog (or several!).

“The people who walk in darkness Will see a great light; Those who live in a dark land, The light will shine on them.” Isaiah 9:2